Charming Sex Secrets – Be the Sexual Man in the Relationship

You can never be the sexual man in the relationship if you are living hectic and stressful life. The truth is, however, that a man with hectic life always repels women. A woman knows that a man with hectic life will always degrade her and stay serious in the relationship. She wants a sexually attractive man who not only dominates his work but also keep his relationship exciting with fun and charming sex.

HOW TO BE THE SEXUAL MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

If you want to be the sexual man in the relationship then you have to build an attractive character. Now, we all know at some level that body language or humor cannot make us the sexual man. In fact, it is entirely impossible to create attraction in persona with body language because body language alone is like a tip of an iceberg in attraction.

Movie directors, superstars and leaders are hiding the actual secrets of attraction. That’s why; they have high values in the eyes of women. They not only make women drool over them but also project themselves as a sexually powerful man.

Now, you must be wondering that which secrets they use in order to attract women. Well, there are millions of hidden secrets which are still hidden under the collars of attractive men. For example, do you know that attaché case increases your values and makes you attractive? A man with attaché case beats the other 99 percent of confident men when it comes to create attraction. He projects his authority and becomes the attractive character for women.

A man with attaché case always projects that he is in charge and serious about his life goals. In addition, he projects his sexual dominance and becomes the leader of room instantly. Suppose, if an average man is like a bus and a confident is like car then a man with attaché case is like a private jet. Women will always love to ride on a private jet instead of a car.

When you appear with attaché case and suit, you not only make yourself dominant but also increase your value. It is like you are the boss of confident guys. When you appear with suit, attaché case and strong posture, the value of other guys automatically decreases. You get the attention and make yourself superior.

There are millions of little things which make you sexual. For example, use the power of hard cash. Hard cash is more attractive than a credit card. Gamblers, business tycoons and authoritative people do the deals in hard cash and make glamorous models worship them entire life. So, if you want to be a sexual man in the relationship then use the power of hard cash and focus on little details which make you super attractive.

CHARMING SEX SECRETS

In order to enjoy charming sex in your relationship, you need to use your playful authority. A man with playful authority exists in the fantasies of women. Do you know why vampires are super attractive for women? Vampires are extremely attractive for women because they use their authority in playful way. Their playful authority makes them extremely romantic and sexual for women. They make women excited with their sexual charm.

If you want to enjoy charming sex sessions in your relationship then first you need to be a charming man. A charming man is the socially intelligent person and demonstrates his charm in social circles. He has unique communication style with strong posture. He communicates in sexual way and intensifies the sexual feeling inside women. For example, he uses people’s name in conversations. A woman also loves it when you use her name in conversation.

• CHARMING SEX: Charming sex is all about creating sexual intimacy. If you want to create sexual intimacy then stare at her with lustful desire. Your lust for her body will make her feel sexual. When you stare at her with lustful desire, you put yourself in dominant position.

Do taboo things in charming sex sessions. A woman badly loves taboo things. Taboo things exists in the sexual fantasies of her and make her wet. You can make her feel taboo in many ways during foreplay or charming sex. For example, expose her breast and cup her boobs in your hands while hugging her from back. Let her feel your rigid cock against her ass.

The combination of two sexual moves will drive her wild. For example, suck her earlobes while rubbing her belly or clitoris. Take her in your lap and press her thighs while sucking her lips. When you take a woman in your lap you automatically put yourself in dominant position and she also loves to be ravished by a dominant man.

If you want to be the sexual man in relationship then you can use the power of spanking. Spank her with scale in playful way. Spanking is like a thrill and make woman sexually surrender in front of you. The thrill of spanking can be fun in romance and wild love making. You can start it in a playful way and make your woman erotic within minutes. It is like putting foreplay on steroids. You can make a woman feel sexual, naughty and erotic with the power of spanking.

Pan and Aphrodite for Humanity’s Sexual Healing

Sexuality has been a rather dysfunctional area of the human experience, in the past and today also. Even though, in the western world, we may appear as ‘liberated’, ‘uninhibited’, ‘progressed’ and ‘advanced’ in sexual matters, with free pornography and prostitution, Internet sex, promiscuous sex with strangers, countless sex advice on popular magazines, huge expenses on improving our sex-appeal and appearance, sexuality is not much more balanced today than at other times. Neither is its connection to spirituality widely recognized. Sexual energies, when cleared of any excessively ‘positive’ (obsession) or ‘negative’ (judgment) attributes, can be used for the return and re-anchoring of higher frequencies in our lives and the world around us.

Hardly do we realize the importance of sexual health to spiritual health. We mostly regard sexuality as an isolated part, cut-off from the rest of our lives. Yet, sexuality is an inseparable part of one’s expression of life force. A couple with a healthy sex life, based on love, respect, inspiration and creativity, exudes such delightful energy, which helps, not only themselves, but also the world and the people around them in invisible ways. The same applies to a person who may be single, yet at peace, comfort and acceptance of his/her sexuality, while expressing his/her creative force in different ways. Despite the media’s brainwashing, sexual health (in the spiritual sense) is NOT determined by the frequency of our sexual contacts. Sexual health means acceptance, means the release of any guilt or shame about sexuality, the recognition of sexuality as a channel for powers of creativity, joy, spontaneity, honor and vitality. These qualities can be expressed in many different ways, not just through sex. Problems arise when these qualities get blocked due to trauma, guilt, shame, insecurity, low self-esteem, idolizing sex, sex addiction etc.

Human sexuality can be seen as a means to channel Universal energy into matter, so that physical matter is ultimately infused with life energy and soul energy. The most obvious creation of this infusion is, of course, a baby! But it is not the only one. Through appropriate channeling of sexual energy, one can create a work of art, a book, a project, or just a joyous day, during which we laugh and love and sing and rejoice. Sexual energy, when properly channeled (according to ancient methods of yoga, for example) can help towards spiritual enlightenment. Seeing sexuality as a package of physical techniques on biological reflexes, in order to create some momentary euphoria, is a very limited view. It is like seeing sex, as a little ‘fix’ to produce a ‘high’ and this view hides the spiritual truth of sexuality.

As other areas of the human experience, sexuality can be a wonderful tool, but it can be used in different ways. It can be used for ill and darkness, or it can be used for love and truth. Ways, not contributing to the light, are when sex is used for hurting, humiliating, using, or exploiting another, or for escaping boredom and the sense of vacuum and emptiness we may feel. Yet, the vacuum inside cannot be filled by sex. Many people today try to fill what is, essentially, a spiritual vacuum with sex and end up feeling more empty than ever (especially if they have used other people for their own perceived ‘need’). Both partners tend to feel cut off from the source of life force, depleted rather than energized, end up seeing each other and themselves as worthless and unattractive. We are bombarded by the media with messages of sexual obsession and sexual using (“how to get him/her to meet your needs” etc), but no one tells us that what we do to another, we do, first and foremost, to ourselves. If, through sex, we humiliate or use another, this is how we will feel about ourselves: used and humiliated. If, on the other hand, sex is the way of expression of love and appreciation of another, then this feeling will multiply for ourselves also. Sex can be the tool to give love or pain. The choice is ours and this choice will affect (just like every choice we make) every aspect of our life, as well as life around us.

Sexual healing is not about spicy advice on achieving greater physical pleasure. Sexual healing is about who we feel we are, in the deepest recesses of our soul. Sexual healing is about clearing the guilt that comes from abuse we received from others or we inflicted upon others, in this or in past lives. It is about de-idolizing sex and shedding all fears around it, fear of rejection, of not being liked, of being without, of being inadequate. It is about seeing its true purpose: union, joy, co-creation. Many spiritually evolved individuals choose the celibate life of the monk or nun, not because sex is ‘bad’, ‘dirty’ or anti-spiritual, but because they use their sexual energy for spiritual ascension. This may not be for everyone, if they feel that this is not their path. Spiritual progress does not exclude sexual activity, but the latter has to rely on love and respect to assist the former.

Sexual healing is very important today for the progress of humanity, since this area gathers some of the most repressed and dark negative thoughts and acts. Think about women in abusive relationships or women stoned for ‘hypothetical’ (or even real) infidelity. Think of the pain in many relationships (which is always linked to sexual pain, directly or indirectly), which often leads to substance abuse, depression, even suicide. Think of those, sometimes advertised, sexual practices, which humiliate human beings, with the use of physical violence. Many forms of negativity charge sexuality today, especially when it is disconnected from the spiritual self and is used to channel lower energies.

Some examples of distorted use of sexuality are the following:

1) The degrading of women, has been going on for so long, in such a wide scale, that the accumulated memory leads many women (along with men) to depreciate themselves. Men and women often fail to see the connection of female sexuality to the qualities of beauty, tenderness, sweetness and the Divine Feminine, but only see it as a vehicle for physical pleasure. Many women, who dimly remember this connection with the Divine Feminine, try to reclaim it, but sometimes do not know how. They expect approval from a man, in order to feel this connection again and to feel good about themselves. They idolize outer appearance, as the measure of the erotic inspiration they emit. But, attractiveness stems from the flame of vivacity, of our spiritual essence, which is unique, exists in all of us and which, when embraced, can shine outwards to all. This is the real attractiveness and beauty. A woman feels good in herself for who she is and this ease makes others feel attracted, while feeling good also. Everyone wins. Even without sex, the recognition of one’s own light and of the light of another, can be the most sublime, etheric erotic interchange, which can even diminish the biological need for sex. Sex can come about, but it only unfolds as another step in the manifestation of a positive energetic connection, it does not create, or replace the connection.

Many women can be blocked sexually by the emotional wounds of the past. Betrayals, rejection, lack of affection, abuse from the past, may make them doubt themselves and obstruct the flow of life force, in all areas of their lives. In this case, it is helpful to visualise clearing the heart charka with the white light of the Goddess. Even if a woman did not have any negative emotional experiences, it is likely that she feels the universal wound of rejection and abuse of women, coming from the collective unconscious of millions of women who have been abused and still are, in the world today. Healing the heart charka in this way, she helps not only herself, but heals the global thought-form (“women are abused by men”), she sends the healing energetic matrix to be used elsewhere by other consciousnesses too. Since we are all connected, healing does not only heal us, but goes beyond us.

Women can also ask Goddess Aphrodite to help them heal and accept their sexuality, to help life force flow again as a creative and vital power in their lives. The Aphrodite energy is very helpful in healing female sexuality and the Divine Feminine for humanity. A woman can thus feel the strength, the joy and vivacity which the Aphrodite energy brings… Even though Aphrodite’s name has been long stained and mis-used for all sorts of prostitution or pornography related material, Her purity cannot be changed, neither could She ever die…

There is another issue which links female sexuality to the channeling and the energy of the Goddess on Earth. The Goddess was worshipped very actively in many ancient temples in many parts of the world, mainly through female priestesses, who were virgins or practiced chastity. This was very powerful, since there were a big number of priestesses indeed! In those times, celibacy did not have the meaning that it has had in many religions since, i.e. it was not about being ‘clean’, while condemning sex as ‘dirty’. It was about reserving the female sexual energy for channeling the Goddess, and it was a very powerful anchoring method for the Goddess’s energy. Until a time came when, even in spirituality, masculinity dominated (sometimes through violence by male priests). These male priests or other males may have been of the dark or not, but (in ancient Greece at least, but I presume in other parts of the world too), they destroyed the temples of the Goddess and, on some occasions, converted the temples for male deities. They also forbade the priestesses from practicing the worship, forced them to marry, sometimes raped them or trained them and corrupted them with sex, so that the temples of the Goddesses became more or less prostitution houses. Prostitution was NOT one of the methods of the Goddess! But it was a powerful way for male domination to divert female sexual energy from anchoring the Goddess on Earth. It was not so much that they corrupted or raped the priestesses for their own personal gratification (even though this was a side gain!), but their main aim was to close down the channel for the Goddess through the priestesses.

How does this relate to us today? The Goddess is coming back… And it happens that many women around the world, especially sensitive, educated, strong women, find themselves, for long periods of time, without a partner. Is this a coincidence? I do not think so. Rather than complaining, or longing for partner, or even worse, consume themselves with inappropriate relationships, it is important for these women to recognize that any period of celibacy has its purpose. To question themselves, as to whether they feel drawn to working with the Goddess, since the Goddess energy may be trying to get through to them. It does not have to be forever, nor do women have to become nuns. The Goddess may need to work with them in chastity for only a certain period of time. When this time is over, the right partner will appear without effort. Neither does it mean that married or sexually active women cannot be the Goddess’s channels (though ANY relationship or sex that is not mutually loving, kind and respectful would block the Goddess energy). In effect, the large number of women without a partner today reflects a spiritual calling from the Goddess, one to be grateful for and used well, rather than wasted in obsessing about finding a partner (in ways that some modern movies or books almost make fun of…) This is something new in our spiritual era and something to be honored. So, I feel it is quite important that single women are aware of this perspective, since for many of them, their cooperation is needed by the Goddess AND working with Her will make their lives much more fulfilling and sweet than they can ever imagine. It happened on so many occasions in ancient Greece and ancient Egypt, during the attack on the Goddess, that the priestesses were made to believe that they were good only for sex or that they could not make it without a man…The reversal, the healing of this distortion is taking place now…

On the other hand, many men can also feel blocked (even apathetic) towards sex, or they can be obsessed and addicted to sex. For men, the deity Pan can help in clearing the channel of sexual flow, in reconnecting with the current of life force through sexuality, regardless of the presence of a partner. Pan is the guardian of the life force energy source (which in the inner planes looks like a little like a waterfall), for the human and animal kingdom and I believe for Nature also. Since it is the same life force, the energetic interaction which occurs when we are in nature, breathing it and appreciating it, helps us open up the sexual channel and helps with sexual healing too. It is of no coincidence that in Greek mythology, humans were said to join erotically with nymphs, ethereal and elemental energies. The channels of life flow in humans were so clear and open, their frequency so high, that they could unite with the entities of Nature, showing that Man and Nature are one. It was not of course any form of the biological sex that we know of today, but it was an energetic union and interaction of the highest and purest level and beauty, which created more Light on Earth. Unfortunately, as the general energies spiraled down with the passage of time, this capacity was lost, and the once pure ceremonies of Nature in ancient Greece (and elsewhere) got replaced by drunken orgies.

Yet, as humanity and Nature evolve towards ascension, the two worlds with come close together once again. It is no coincidence that Pan, Who symbolizes the purest and highest triangle joining Nature, Man and the Divine, was brutally slandered, for many centuries, making Him appear as a satyr, a nymphomaniac, ugly, with horns etc. At times, His image was even taken to represent evil. None of this is true. Pan is one of the highest Masters of Light, the king of the Nature and of the Elemental Kingdom and He protects Nature and Man.He does NOT have horns, He has a very beautiful innocent loving face and lots of thick curly long hair. When He was in body on Earth, He could sometimes appear with goat’s legs (although He could also appear as fully human), but this was deliberately planned by Spirit, as a dramatic lesson of utmost importance to humanity about the equality of Man and Nature. A lesson, we are still struggling with today…

2) Sexual abuse, particularly of children, is one of the darkest distortions of human sexuality. What could lead someone to such behavior? There is never just one single reason, but it has been found that the many offenders in child sexual abuse have themselves been abused as children. What is very common in cases of child sexual abuse is memory repression, so that the adult bears no conscious awareness of what happened to him, even though he may have irksome feelings that something inside is deeply wrong. Unless they heal their original trauma, so that they reclaim their own wounded inner child, there is some likelihood for a few of them (though certainly not the majority of adult survivors) to repeat the trauma they endured and behave in a similar way to other innocent and vulnerable ones. In some cases, there may even be the element of revenge, power and control, humiliation, malevolent intent to destroy the innocence of the child victim, especially when the offender is also influenced by lower energies and entities. The more the offender passes his own shame and worthlessness onto the victim, the more ashamed and worthless he feels himself. Both lose, in an ever-deepening vicious circle of abuse and humiliation (which is always the sole responsibility of the offender). After each re-enactment, the offender feels more and more depraved, helpless, and worthless, so that he feels his only choice really is to do one more of the same.

If an offender wishes to heal (some do), it is very important first to be cleared of any negative energies or entities that may have been attached to him, either by those who abused him as a child (if this is the case), or during his own acts of offending. I believe that addictions, such as offending children sexually, practicing violent sex, or using heroin (among others), attract many negative entities to those involved, this is why it is so hard for many individuals to break away from them. This does not mean that the offender bears no responsibility, or in fact karma, for it is always he, who chooses what to do. But it is an important factor to consider and I believe that many therapy programs today for offenders and addicts, would be much more successful, if they included negative energy clearing. It is important for the offender to ask clearing and protection from the Beings of Light, like Archangel Michael, in order to keep away any dark energies, who may be trying to manipulate him. The offender can ask to be helped to act, think and feel only in pure and kind intent. He/She can ask from Pan to withdraw his/her energy from any destructive channels of expression and re-channel them to healthy ways of light and creativity. It is important to ask for help from the Highest Beings of Light, since the darkness involved in these cases can be quite persistent. I believe that 12 step programs for addicts are excellent in this regard (and child sexual offending is always an addiction), since their basis is fundamentally spiritual: the addict/offender needs to admit the destructive nature of his behaviour, to take responsibility for his actions and thoughts, to realize that, with help, he can change, to admit that he needs help in therapy and to take all necessary practical steps to commit to his therapy. All of this, of course, requires that he is wishful and ready to change. Many are not. But there are some, who can no longer bear the pain of the depravity their acts bring and wish to change.

What we, lightworkers can do, if we feel this is the right thing, is to pray, wherever it is permitted by God and does not interfere with karma and with God’s Plan, for child sexual abuse to come to an end and for child offenders and victims to heal, if and when they are ready. If we ask without judgement and with genuine caring for all involved, we are helping, not just the offender, but the many possible child victims that each offender could harm during the course of his life, if left untreated. Of course, we can pray for the protection and caring of all children involved.

As for the victimized child, he/she does not need to remain a helpless victim forever. He/she can heal and clear away the stain of shame that has been put on their soul by the offender. The sexual offence on children almost always aims to destroy the innocence in the child. But innocence cannot be destroyed. Children may think that they lost their innocence, but in reality, it has only been ‘frozen’ at a certain corner of their heart, only waiting to be warmed and reclaimed again. The survivor, when ready to heal, can get rid off the feeling of shame and wrongness, which was not theirs in the first place, can reclaim their power and self-love and feel safe with their power. Praying to the Mother Mary (or any feminine deity of white clearing pure light) to clear with the white light of innocence all remnants of memories of shame and pain can be very helpful, as well as praying to Pan and Aphrodite for sexual healing.

3) AIDS. It is of no coincidence that, at a time when sex is so often burdened with shame and darkness, to appear a disease, which is transmitted through sex, but which also is related with acute stigma, shame and in some environments, even repulsion. There are many negative psychological interactions around AIDS. There are places in the world, where virgins are raped, because the rapist believes that he will get rid of the ‘dirty’ virus by passing it on to a ‘pure’ other (the same dynamic with child sexual abuse: the offender abuses the child in a failed attempt to find a momentary relief from the burden of the ‘dirty’ shame, by passing it on to the innocent victim). HIV carriers are stigmatized (perhaps not so much in the developed world, but in many other parts of the world), as if there is something wrong with them. The virus has become a symbol of all the negativity we have projected upon sex, and has, in turn, been used as a tool to spread the shame and the negativity further, by stigmatizing and condemning people. We can visualize a white light clearing humanity and all those who wish to receive this, of all the shame, guilt, stigma, judgment, revenge, abuse, isolation, that relate to AIDS and HIV. We can send the white light of love and compassion and acceptance to all those who have died so far (20 million in Sub-Saharan Africa alone, often died in secrecy and isolation), as well as those who are affected now. The more people refuse to judge and turn away from those infected, but see them in light, love and equality, the more the virus (which represents shame, rejection and ‘dirtiness’ about sex) will lose its power. The white light of innocence, embracing the Earth, will help loosen the grip of the disease upon humanity.

Sexual Addiction – How to Get Help For Sexual Addiction When You Don’t Have Money

Most communities have state supported counseling resources, such as community mental health centers and substance abuse treatment centers. Some offer inpatient treatment. Some offer outpatient treatment. Some offer both. Any place that has a”sliding scale”, which is cost based on adjusted income, probably has a state contract. Many have a policy that says that no one will be turned away due to a “lack of ability to pay”. That means that if you cannot afford even the sliding scale fee appropriate to your income, that you can usually still get counseling.

Although there are many people who focus on sexual addiction treatment, such specialized services may not be readily available in your community, or may not be accessible to those without health insurance or ability to pay for expensive fees. In such cases, other professionals who are generally available to those with limited financial resources would most likely be connected to community mental health or substance abuse services that are state supported. Usually the helping professionals most likely to be versed in sexual compulsiveness treatment are addiction counselors.

Other “free” or “low cost” options include the local public library. Check out the Patrick Carnes books and others writing on the subject. An internet search with key words that speak to your specific situation can turn up a number of sites that have articles and other resources for personal growth and development.

The local phone book and local newspaper can tell you when, where, and phone numbers to the meetings for Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexaholilcs Anonymous (SA), Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA), or Celebrate Recovery groups. In your local newspaper, there is usually a particular day of the week where they publish a list of local organizations, meetings, groups, etc. Pick a group and start going. 12 step groups are free.

If none of the above are listed, go to open AA meetings. The principles of recovery are the same for all addictions. Many people who have sexual addiction also have other addictions, especially alcoholism and other drug addiction. So if you drink, it is probably in your best interest to become abstinent from alcohol and other mood altering drugs (with possible exception of prescribed medication) while you figure out all the variables of your sexual addiction.

Most people have to abstain from sexual behavior for at least 30 days to 90 daysin order to be able to step back and assess their sexual behavior, identify negative consequences of that behavior, and identify their own personal definition of abstinence. You can treat sexual compulsion cravings the same way that you treat alcohol and other drug cravings.

Even though you don’t have insurance or other economic resources, you can still recover. You just have to piece together the various components of treatment, learning, and support yourself. The ultimate goal for treatment of sexual compulsiveness, despite the initial abstinence suggestion, is not lifelong abstinence, but a return to healthy sexuality.

If you or someone you love is having trouble finding help for sexual addiction, for whatever reason, visit my website often. I am constantly adding new information and articles about addiction. Much of it applies to sexual addiction and there is a specific section on Sexual Addiction. There are a number of helpful “Pages”, such as the “Links” page, that assists you in making additional connections to other helpful sites and information. In addition to the articles written by me, loosely categorized in “Marriage articles”, “Skills”, “Addiction and Mental Health”, and “Family Dynamics of Addiction”, there is a “Recommended Readings” page that may offer just what you are looking for. The “Services Provided” page hosts a couple of links to surveys that ask for feedback about the kinds of information that you are interested in.

Test Love Compatibility – Physical and Emotional Sexuality Method

One of the most powerful and useful tools to test love compatibility was developed as part of Physical and Emotional Suggestibility and Sexuality Theory, first introduced by John G. Kappas, Ph.D. in 1975. It was based on 30 years of clinical investigation and extensive research. Dr. Kappas became famous for his results predicting behavior and resolving relationship problems using this theory.

In the conventional view of behavior, popularized by John Gray in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, men behave one way, women another. This view underlies the approach most therapists use to counsel couples.

In his practice as a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Kappas discovered that two other patterns of behavior existed that offered a better context for couples therapy. He identified the patterns as Physical Sexuality and Emotional Sexuality. Both men and women exhibit both patterns. It seems that some men and women are from Mars, some from Venus.

The behavior traits exhibited in Physical Sexuality and Emotional Sexuality are quite different. For example, take a look at the patterns with respect to just a few traits.

A Physical Sexual person tends to be openly and abundantly affectionate. He is outgoing, comfortable in groups, and enjoys calling attention to his physical body. When rejected, he tries harder. He views sex as an integral expression of loving and being loved. He tends to be available for sex anytime and enjoys prolonging sexual expression to maximize the feelings of love and acceptance.

In sharp contrast, an Emotional Sexual person tends to be uncomfortable with open affection, prefers intimate interactions with one or two people, and is uncomfortable calling attention to his body. When rejected, he withdraws. He views sex as a means of release quite separate from love. He tends to desire sex on a cycle, such as every three days. On a cycle day, he experiences complete release in one sexual event. On off days, he may not find sexual expression or physical touch pleasant.

The behavior traits of Physical and Emotional Sexuality are so distinctly different, it is not hard to understand why people of opposite Sexuality have difficulty interacting, much as a dog and a cat have trouble interacting.

People tend to exhibit behavior traits from both Physical and Emotional Sexuality patterns, though one pattern or the other dominates. To measure both Sexuality and the percent dominance, Dr. Kappas created the Physical and Emotional Sexuality Questionnaires and developed a statistical scoring system. On these tests, a person may score from 55-95% Physical Sexuality, or 55-95% Emotional Sexuality.

A person of 95% dominance in either Sexuality will exhibit that behavior exclusively. A person of 55% dominance in either Sexuality will exhibit almost as many traits of the opposite Sexuality as his own. Knowing a person’s Sexuality score, consequently, is quite useful in predicting his behavior.

In predicting relationship behavior, the Physical and Emotional Sexuality score is even more enlightening. In an ironic twist of nature, for long term intimate relationships, a person chooses a person of opposite Sexuality with the same degree of dominance.

A 95% Physical Sexual will partner with a 95% Emotional Sexual. This couple, like the dog and cat, will experience difficulty interacting as their behavior traits are so different. You might suspect that they are incompatible as a couple. Ironically, their sexual chemistry is explosive. Their strong physical attraction may keep them together but their conflicts and misunderstandings will be many.

Low scorers on the Physical and Emotional Sexuality scale also have difficulty. They will experience few problems interacting outside the bedroom as their behavior traits are similar. Sexual chemistry, however, is weak to nonexistent. Their ability to get along may keep them together but sexual disappointment may also lead to conflict and misunderstandings. Moderate scorers relate best on every level.

As a rule of thumb in Physical and Emotional Sexuality, when people of opposite Sexuality relate, the more extreme the opposite, the more intense the sexual attraction and the greater the problems in all other aspects of the relationship. It seems Mother Nature had her own ideas about relationship compatibility.

Sexuality patterns cannot be changed. Knowledge of Physical and Emotional Sexuality is the best means to improve understanding of yourself, your partner, and the problems you have. It is the most powerful and most useful tool to help couples quickly identify relationship issues and resolve them. It can be used effectively in counseling or as a self help measure.

Despite the broad benefits of Physical and Emotional Sexuality, it is not widely practiced. Since its introduction, numerous new theories and techniques, such a Neurolinguistic Programming and Rational Emotive Therapy, have emerged. These, together with the flood of self help methodologies, compete for a place in professional training and practice. No one methodology is standard in relationship counseling today. For relationship questions, however, no other method gets better results when it is time to test love compatibility.

What Can Recent Events Teach Us About Sexual Harassment? Minimize the Prospects of Being Victimized

In recent months, news accounts concerning sexual harassment in the workplace have splashed across the front pages of every major newspaper and at the top of the hour of every major television news program in America. Regrettably, the avalanche of current coverage has largely occurred without context or depth. The widespread media attention has failed to illuminate much, if any, information on what types of misconduct actually constitute workplace sexual harassment. In an effort to shed some needed light on the subject, let us examine what actions the courts have found amounts to actionable sexual harassment.

The courts have defined two forms of sexual harassment: “Quid pro quo harassment” and “hostile environment harassment.” “Quid pro quo” is the Latin phrase “this for that.” In a “traditional” quid pro quo case, a supervisor conditions a female subordinate’s future or continued employment and/or other prospective employment-related financial benefits (e.g., promotions; raises; bonuses; vacations) on her acquiescing to have sex with him and/or otherwise providing him with sexual favors.

In comparison, hostile environment harassment does not necessarily involve the extortion of job benefits in exchange for sexual favors. As the category description suggests, with this type of harassment a supervisor or coworker engages in conduct rendering the workplace unbearably toxic for the victim. This type of abuse can range from repeated verbal taunting to physical assaults.

You should keep in mind that hostile environment sexual harassment complaints do not require that the harasser express a sexual attraction toward or romantic interest in the victim. Just as in analogous cases involving racial based or religious based harassment, the law protects employees from having their work environment adversely affected as a result of comments or conduct based on gender related considerations. Whether the harasser is or was sexually attracted to the victim is not a determinative factor. The more salient questions are (1) whether the harasser has made the environment so toxic a “reasonable person” would find it offensive and (2) did the harassment stem from invidious gender based considerations.

Under the Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (“Title VII”), as amended, a company remains strictly liable for proven quid pro quo harassment perpetrated by its managers. Thus, if a victimized employee can establish through a preponderance of direct or circumstantial evidence that her supervisor subjected her to quid pro quo harassment, then the employer has to bear the financial brunt of any damages awarded to her.

In contrast, an aggrieved worker complaining of hostile environment harassment under Title VII must preliminarily advise management that her supervisor and/or her coworker have subjected her to a hostile work environment. If the harassment does not involve a tangible employment action, then the affected employee must essentially show that she notified management of the harassment and that despite said notification the harassment continued. An employee who unreasonably fails to lodge an internal complaint with management will likely find herself precluded from proceeding with a hostile environment claim in court. Accordingly, as a general matter, a successful plaintiff pursuing a hostile environment cause of action must have evidence that (1) the underlying, complained of harassment actually took place, and (2) although she notified her employer of the hostile environment the abusive conduct continued.

Publicized allegations brought by female subordinates against candidates for the United States Supreme Court and for the United States Presidency may offer critical insight into the candidates’ respective fitness (or lack thereof) for high offices. While their accounts consequently have national importance, the scourge of sexual harassment in the workplace remains an even more important national issue. Sexual harassment can and does affect female workers at every economic level, from minimum wage to “seven figures.” (While higher income undoubtedly provides a greater measure of protection from such abuse, it does not invariably shield workers at the upper end of the economic scale.)

Over the last 15 years, women have filed eleven to sixteen thousand sexual harassment complaints annually with the EEOC and state and local Fair Employment Practice Agencies (“FEPAs”). For every one of these complaints, dozens, if not hundreds, of women experience similar abuses at work but do not file administrative or judicial complaints. According to a November 15 Washington Post-ABC News poll, twenty-four percent of the polled women reported they had been personally harassed at work, and nearly two-thirds of all responders concluded workplace sexual harassment constitutes an ongoing problem in this country.

If you face a situation involving quid pro quo and/or hostile environment harassment, you can take steps to better navigate through the pernicious landmines at work. As an initial matter, you need to report the harassment to the appropriate management officials at your workplace as soon as possible. If you first inform this manager of your situation orally, then you want to follow up this discussion with a written summary which you make sure he or she receives. (Do not merely rely on e-mail. In addition to e-mails being deleted or getting lost, it is too easy to deny having received or read an e-mail. Deliver a hard copy.) On a related note, if the situation is severe and/or continues unabated, you want to consult promptly with an attorney and/or contact the EEOC or a FEPA.

Shortly after you lodge your complaint, you should be prepared to meet with management to discuss your situation. You should not refuse to participate in such a meeting even if it has the prospect of being unpleasant. You have to do everything within reason to allow your company an opportunity to rectify this situation as much as possible. Also, you should keep in mind you cannot dictate the terms of how the employer addresses your complaint (e.g., terminating the alleged harasser). Nonetheless, if your employer fails to act in a sufficiently responsive manner (i.e., taking requisite steps to stop the harassment), you can raise its inadequate response with your attorney and/or the EEOC or FEPA.

Keep a private diary or journal describing what the harasser says or does and what management does in response to your complaint. Additionally, if there are any written materials or other documents (e.g., sexual e-mails; pornographic photographs) disseminated as part of the underlying harassment, you should endeavor to obtain copies of these materials and keep a copy at home. The notes and the documents may prove particularly helpful to you and your counsel if your matter has to proceed to court.

You also have to prepare yourself for the possibility of management “circling the wagons” following its receipt of your harassment complaint. Do not expect sympathy or compassion from your colleagues, irrespective of how long or how well you have worked with them in the past. If your supervisors and/or coworkers respond with understanding, you should consider their reactions as a bonus! Look for emotional support from your network of friends and family outside of the job site. Do not expect to receive it at work.

Finally, you need to operate at work like “Caesar’s wife.” After you have filed a complaint, you want to do everything by the book. It does not matter whether a laissez faire attitude permeated your workplace beforehand. For example, if work officially starts at 9:00 a.m., you should do everything in your power to be at your desk or your station at 8:50 a.m. ready to work every day. You want to strive to have your performance be so impeccable that no one in management can “legitimately” cite it as a basis for retaliating against you. In short, you should do everything feasible to assure you do not give the company “any ammunition to shoot you with” after you have filed your sexual harassment complaint.

Hopefully, neither you nor your loved ones will have to endure serious sexual harassment at work. If you do encounter this abuse, though, you can take steps to ameliorate the situation and to seek a remedy. Do not acquiesce to mistreatment. Do not give up. You deserve equal opportunity and a harassment free environment at work.